Regrets
by GroundZeroFirework
Summary: Just a little fic about Kotori and Maki's mothers years before the events of the series started.


**AN: Welcome! Welcome, you magnificent bastards! Welcome to the Mama Birb x Mama Tomato fic that nobody (okay, fine, some people) asked for. So, I honestly have no idea how to breach this subject so it's safe to say that I'm just winging it right now. So names…I don't think their mothers' names were ever mentioned so I just made some up for this fic. So, just to remind you…this is a fanfiction…meaning you don't have to take anything I write here seriously. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy nonetheless. Okay, let's go!**

* * *

 **REGRETS**

* * *

It was around 2AM in Japan and the Nishikino General Hospital was a bit silent,aside from a few nurses and doctors working the graveyard shift. Nishikino Hana was one of those doctors. It's not a surprise since she's the wife of the hospital director. Plus she liked the graveyard shift; it was a blessing and a curse at the same time. A blessing because it's quiet and it gave her some form of peace of mind. A curse because if it's this quiet with only her rounds to do, she's usually left to stew in her own thoughts and that usually leads to her thinking of the regrets she has in life and there was only one regret that she absolutely hated thinking about…

Her ex-girlfriend, Tori.

She can remember almost everything about her; her ash brown hair that borders on the color gray, her amber eyes, her strict but kind demeanor, amongst other things. All those she remembered but there were also things that she forgot such as the feeling of their lips pressed together. She couldn't remember what her lips felt or tasted like or the smell of her body. It was those little things that she sorely wanted to retain in her mind but couldn't. And thinking about that brought tears to her eyes.

"No…stop thinking about it…just stop…" She berated herself as she held her head between her hands as if fighting off a migrane. She leaned on a wall and slid on the nearby chair as the memories persisted, her brain torturing her with the memory of their break up. It felt like it was just yesterday…

* * *

" _Hana-chan." A familiar voice greeted her. 18-year-old Hana stood up from her seat at the outdoor café she was waiting at and smiled at her._

" _Tori-chan, how are you? Have you eaten?" She asked as they embraced. They decided not to be too affectionate in public when they started their relationship three years ago. A hug was one of the few things they can do in public without arousing suspicion. After all, they were just kids and kids feared being ostracized by society._

" _I'm fine. And yes, I've eaten. Thank you." Tori replied with a bright smile._

" _I see. Let's go somewhere, then." The redhead said as she stood up and held her hand out. The pair spent the day in each other's company; from going to the arcade to window shopping to having snacks together. Eventually, they arrived at the park, still holding hands as they stood by the tree they usually sat under._

" _Tori-chan, I have to tell you something." Hana said as she turned to face her._

" _What is it?" The ashen haired woman asked. The redhead hesitated; she knew what had to be done but that didn't make it any easier. Tori deserved better than what was in store for her if she didn't do this._

" _I…you know I love you. I love you more than anything in this world which is why this is so hard to do…"_

" _Hana-chan, just tell me." She said with a gentle smile._

" _We can't do this anymore." Was her response. Tori was dumbstruck and different emotions were running through her all at once._

" _What? Why? D-Did I do something wrong? Haven't I agreed to your wishes to keep everything a secret?"_

" _Tori-chan, it's not that simple and it's not your fault. Let me explain…my parents arranged a marriage for me with the heir of Nishikino General Hospital. Our parents have been friends for a long time and I couldn't refuse. I'm so sorry but we have to stop this. I can't live with myself if I turned you into a third party because you deserve better than that. I can't keep the promises I made you. I am so sorry."_

 _Tori could only stare at her in disbelief and she slowly backed away from her. Each step was like a knife down Hana's chest; each step signified that she was slowly losing faith in her. She didn't want that. But then again, if she was in her shoes, she'd probably be doing the same._

" _So…that's it, huh? Just like that. After three years. Okay. I'll make it easy for you. Let's end this. I'll walk away and you never have to see me again." Tori said with a bitter smile, her eyes glistening with tears that she refused to shed. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips to Hana's cheek._

" _Goodbye, Hana-chan. Good luck with med school and your engagement. I hope he takes care of you. I should go."_

 _And go she did. Hana could only watch as the woman she loved walk away from her, not once sparing her a glance as she rounded the corner. She wanted to reach out and call for her, take back everything she said and kiss her until she got tired. But she didn't; instead, she turned the opposite direction and walked home, keeping a strong front until she got to the safety of her room, where she was left to stew in her own thoughts and she was left to think about the regrets she has in life until she was reduced to tears and she passed out. And in the morning, she gathered enough strength to stand up on her own and keep moving forward as if yesterday didn't happen with nothing but her thoughts and regrets to keep her mind company…_

* * *

In the midst of her reminiscing, Hana pulled out a photo from her wallet of the two of them when they were in high school. They were so happy back then. After their break up, she buried herself in her studies to get away from her grief until she completely forgot to grieve for it altogether. Last she heard of Tori was that she married some years after her college graduation and she now worked at their alma mater, Otonokizaka, as a teacher. Hana, meanwhile, eventually graduated from med school and married a year afterwards. Her husband was a kind and sweet man but he was a bit of a workaholic and Hana found it in her to tolerate him and they eventually grew to love each other. But she knew that deep down, she still loved Tori. She took the risk and invited her to the wedding but she never received a reply; that probably meant that she finally forgot about her or wanted to forget her. The redheaded doctor was knocked out of her stupor when she heard her pager beeping with a message asking her to come to the ER. She complied and met with the nurse immediately.

"Doctor Nishikino, thank god, you're here. We have a patient giving birth and her doctor is on bereavement leave." The nurse explained.

"Why is her doctor on bereavement leave when she's close to giving birth?" She asked in concern.

"It's a premature birth. The doctor trusts only you to deliver since you've helped him in several deliveries before." The nurse said as she handed Hana the file. It's true that she's helped out a few doctors whenever she could but this particular doctor she helped out because she wanted to learn a little about delivering babies. He was a bit of an eccentric too so it came as no surprise to her that he would trust only her in this situation. Brilliant but eccentric. She hesitantly opened the file and her eyes widened when she saw who her patient was.

 _Minami Tori_

She immediately put some surgical scrubs on before bolting into the room and saw Tori in bed, writhing in pain with a brown haired woman next to her. She's known the brunette woman since high school, being Tori's childhood friend, and has recently seen her around the hospital when she was pregnant. Last time they saw each other was when she gave birth a month ago to a ginger haired baby girl.

"Doctor Nishikino." The brown haired woman greeted her somewhat coldly.

"Kousaka-san." She greeted back before turning her attention back to the ashen haired woman.

"Minami-san, I'm Doctor Nishikino. Your usual doctor is on bereavement leave at the moment so I'll be filling out for him. I'm told that your little one wants to see the world a month early." She professionally said as she did the standard procedures necessary. "Where's your husband, Minami-san?"

"Business Tr-Trip. He-He won't be back until tomorrow morning." Tori struggled to respond. She was in total pain and she was sweating bullets to the point that her hair was plastered to her face. It brought a pang to Hana's chest to see her in such a state. Truth be told, this is a bit awkward as it should be but she had an obligation as a doctor to bring that baby safely into this world. Plus she felt that she owed Tori that much.

"Kousaka-san, please wait outside. She'll be in good hands." Hana informed the brunette. With a nod from Tori, she reluctantly left the room.

"I-I can't do this. It's too painful." The ashen haired woman said as tears streamed down her face. Hana approached and kneeled beside her.

"Hey, yes, you can do this. Don't worry; the pain won't last much longer. We'll have to perform a cesarean section on you so we'll have to knock you out with an anesthetic. You'll be alright. I promise." She said with a gentle tone as she cupped her cheek. Tori nodded as she leaned into her palm. Some other doctors came in to assist and they proceeded to administer the anesthetic to her system and she fell asleep almost immediately. They started the process needed to safely extract the baby and after an hour or two of surgery, the little girl came out and she started crying. Hana held the crying baby and they cleaned and examined her. She saw that the newborn had wisps of ash brown hair and she knew in an instant that she would inherit Tori's eyes and would grow up to look like her. She found herself falling in love with the infant and bitterly wished that the child was hers. Or rather, theirs; instead of Tori's and her husband's. If only she fought back then. They took the child to the maternity ward to rest and they took Tori to another room, where she rested. Before going home since it was the end of her shift, she paid her a visit. For a few minutes, she sat there and held her hand. Then she stood up and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I still love you." She whispered before she exited the room. Just before she got to the parking lot, she heard someone call for her.

"Hey."

She turned around and saw Kousaka standing there.

"Yes? Is there something you need?" She politely asked.

"I saw what you did. Heard what you said too. Did you mean it?" The brunette asked her. Reluctantly, she nodded in response.

"You tell her that now. What if she heard you? Do you know how hard it was to watch her get over you? She spent many a night crying because you left her. I know it's not my place to tell you but stay away from her. Please. There's a reason she didn't go to your wedding. Please, let her go so she can let you go. Let her live her life and move on. You've hurt her enough." She said.

"Don't you think I know that? Not a day went by where I don't regret leaving her. I want to be a part of her life even as just a friend. So, I'm sorry if I can't do what you're asking of me." Hana said as tears streamed down her eyes and she turned around and walked away. Heading home to a lonely mansion in the city where she would lie underneath the bed sheets and most likely fall asleep waiting for her husband to come home.

* * *

Hours later, Hana was back at the hospital for her shift and was doing her rounds when she passed by Tori's room. The door was left a bit open and she found herself listening in.

"What should we name her?" A male voice asked. Hana deduced that her husband has arrived from his business trip. She took a peek and saw that Tori was holding her newborn daughter. Her husband was gently holding the baby's hand with a proud and happy smile in his face. For a moment, she tried to picture herself in his position but she snapped out of it almost immediately once she realized the absurdity of her thought.

"I don't know. What do you think we should name her?" She asked.

"Hmmm…what about Kotori? Didn't you always joke back then that if you had a daughter you would name her Kotori?" Her husband lightheartedly reminded her. Hana let out a bitter chuckle; she once promised Tori a daughter that that they would name Kotori. That way the older woman would be the bird while their daughter would be their little bird. Just another promise she wasn't able to keep and she regretted making in the first place.

"Kotori…I like it. Let's name her that. Kotori, that's your name, little one. Papa and I love you so much." Tori whispered to her daughter, who cooed as if in response to her words.

"I think she likes it." The baby's father said with a happy tone. With a bitter smile, Hana forced herself to walk away and continued her rounds.

* * *

Midnight was upon them yet again and Hana's shift was almost over. And yet, she found herself walking to the maternity ward as if there was something pulling her there. She found the reason for her sudden impulse when she approached the window and had her eyes fixated on one baby.

 _Minami Kotori_

She entered the nursery (being the director's wife comes with A LOT of perks) and quietly approached her so as to not disturb the other sleeping babies. She gently caressed little Kotori's cheek, rousing her from her sleep as she shifted about. Strangely enough, she did cry but rather looked at her with curious eyes. The redheaded doctor gave her a bright smile as her eyes glistened with tears.

"Hello, Kotori-chan. Welcome to the world." She greeted the infant with a smile as she gently held her hand. Kotori wrapped her little hand on her index finger immediately.

"You are such a beautiful baby. Beautiful just like your mom. You're going to grow up and look just like her, I know it. I know you'll be blessed with the same kind heart that she has. You're going to grow up a strong and kind girl with a knack for getting what she wants like her mother."

Hana looked around and checked if there was anybody else around. When she saw that there wasn't a soul to be seen, she picked up little Kotori from her crib and held her close.

"You know I love your mother so much. Even though we went our separate ways and married, I still love her and never forgot about her. I desperately wished to see her again and you gave me that opportunity. So I thank you, little bird, for letting me see your mother again. I know you and your papa will make her happy and that's good enough for me. Your Aunt Kousaka was right…I have to let her go. I have to let your mama go because your dad deserves her more than I ever did. The only consolation I would ever get out of this was the knowledge that you and her will be safe and happy and I would finally get to grieve for losing her."

At this point, tears were quietly streaming down her face. She had no idea where all of this was coming from but she felt the need to justify herself to Kotori. She held the tiny infant close to her before kissing her forehead and she was met with a confused stare from the child.

"You granted me a wish but now I have a new one; I wish that you were my daughter and not your father's. I wish I could have a life where you and your mother are my family. But I learned early in life that you don't always get what you want and that the world is not a wish granting factory. Goodbye, Kotori-chan. I know this is a selfish request but…please, make your mama happy for me."

Hana gently set Kotori back down in her crib and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. Once her shift ended, the same thing happened again. Like many years before, Hana kept up a strong front until she got to the safety of her room, where she was left to stew in her thoughts and think about the things she regretted the most in life until she was reduced to tears and cried her eyes out and she passed out.

And just like back then, the next morning she plucked up enough strength to stand up on her own two feet and keep moving forward as if nothing ever happened, with nothing but her thoughts and regrets to keep her mind company…

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 **AN: And that's that. This is the KotoMom x MakiMom fic that nobody (okay, fine, again, some people) asked for. I know this isn't that stellar but I wasn't really expecting it to be. I just wanted to make a Mom x Mom fic so I hope you all enjoyed either way.**

 **If you liked this fic and would like to request for one catered especially for you and your desires, visit my . Details are in my profile.**

 **Firework out!**


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